I was looking through all my pics from 2011 and I have to say it really was a great year overall. I could make you a list of all the things I am I suppose. A daughter, wife, mother to dogs, dog lover, friend, sister, red head…..but this might get pretty boring for you and my mind is so 90 to nothing all the time that it would just get really out of hand and I might mention things that are just better kept to myself. For your sake not mine.
Something that was fairly new to me in 2011 and now 2012 is that I am a person trying to have a baby. Gosh that feels good to write. I don’t even know why! I think because sometimes I feel like we are trying but are we really TRYING when all we do is get poked and prodded and we aren’t in the bedroom doing this the au naturale way! Get my drift? Ummmm…..this didn’t get started the way I was hoping……Now you have some visuals I’m sure you could have done without! Sorry about that.
The truth is that Teddy and I have been trying for about 8 months and a couple of weeks to have a little Teddy or Teddette! 8 months isn’t that long….it really isn’t. I don’t feel discouraged even writing it to be honest. What is discouraging is that for those 8 months my body has been ready and able to have a baby 1 of those months. I have taken the meds, pee’d on the sticks, done the headstands, made the deals with God, and still my body only ovulated ONCE. ONE TIME. For someone who really does have this sense of urgency even when picking up my dry cleaning this has been a real struggle for me. I’m the kind of gal that likes to see results from something immediately if not sooner or I just get really irritated. Yes, I do realize I will have to be pregnant for 9 months and believe you ME I’ve sat here and thought how I will want to get that baby out of me and start the fun right away! I also recently had to get the Chicken Pox vaccine. Yes I had to get a 1-year-old vaccine. I mean there has been a lot of just real eye-opening things during this process. Looking back for the short 8 months it’s been quite the ride….and we’re still on it hopefully making some headway.
I have felt things in the last 8 months I never even knew existed AND they haven’t all been bad. I have learned a lot about myself and others in this struggle/process and I am so thankful for that. Sometimes this is the reason why I didn’t blog as much….I really didn’t know what to say or how to say it….or I thought I’ll blog about it and then people will judge me for being too open about my life. But I tell you this now because this is part of my story right now. It’s part of who I am but it’s not WHO I AM. I will be a Mom one day but I won’t always be someone trying to be a Mom. Sometimes life changes therefore changing who you are but you are always really YOU and the beauty of being YOU is that NO ONE else can do it.