I now interrupt the regularly scheduled summer break

To tell you that I….

Just lost 2.64 pounds walking from my office to my car because it’s so hot here!  I mean seriously Mama Nature…what gives!?  It’s like walking in a sauna….in a sauna being blow dried at the same time!  Now does that sound fun!?!?!?

I’m not a summer person….I’m a fall person.  I hate shorts (haven’t worn or owned a pair in about 8 years), I hate skin cancer (had that twice), and my favorite piece of clothing is a cardigan(I have one on today with sequins on it)….now does that sound like someone who wants to be living in this heat dome?  What is a heat dome anyway?! 

The other day they said a cold front was coming in and I broke out the cardigan to find out that by cold front they meant 99 degrees and not 100!  Get real people…I can’t live like this!  I can’t!  The other day I literally said these words to Teddy…while curled up in the fetal position because I had nothing to wear that would keep me cool and also make me feel/look pretty….

“It’s just too hot to live”

And then I let out a big sigh….and then we both started cracking up! 

I can’t predict the future (although I do think I am sometimes telepathic) but if this is what the future holds for this great state…I might have to purchase a summer home in cardigan friendly temps. 

Hope you’re having a fabulous summer and although this post does sound rather dramatic…my summer is great!  Fabulous family and friends and of course those crazy bear dogs….who by the way HATE this heat too.  Just like their Momma…they look best in a argyle cardigan.

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4 Replies to “I now interrupt the regularly scheduled summer break”

  1. You complete me. Honestly, sincerely, whole heartedly…you complete me. You only thought you complete Teddy, but it’s me. I want you to know that I am the MOST unprofessional landwoman crew chief that anyone has ever seen – it’s just too hot to dress nicely. I may or may not be wearing a strapless sundress and rubber flip flops with my hair in a ponytail today. This courthouse is old as Jesus and therefore hot as Satan. At 8:04 I looked at Rhonda’s thermostat on her desk (old ass court clerk) and it said 82°. Eff. My. Life!!!

    On a sidenote, I’m with you on skin cancer. You know I love my tan in a bottle. I got some new stuff this weekend and this morning when I walked in Dorothy (other old ass court clerk) said “Well my oh my, SOMEONE got some sun this weekend!” Yay me!….b/c I clearly didn’t. If I got some sun this weekend I think we all know my body would be neon pink and my face would be one giant brown freckle.

    1. Oh TL! You complete me too! I think you should write a book about all your adventures while landmanning and being with old ass clerks. It’s always something new and I just love it. Each time I walk outside I get more and more angry at all the world and want to just eat 80 Tiger’s Blood snow cones.
      I also found some new stuff tan in a bottle last weekend! What is yours called? You know I love a good spray tan but if that place I go to gets anymore mirrors up while being naked and having some skinny ass 21 year old spray tan me there might be some real problems.

  2. I feel as though we are sitting on the surface of the sun, being blow torched. Loved the post. All SO true and not dramatic at all. IT’S. TOO. HOT.
    Hope you are doing well, Spooniest!

  3. Velcro Jamie 🙂 I love that you think it’s like sitting on the surface of the actual sun! I mean talk about dramatic…this is exactly how I should have explained it! UGH!
    We must meet up the next time your in my neck of the woods….just have my social coordinator Mary Green set that up for us 🙂
    XOXO! Hope you are doing well!

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