When I was in high school I would work at the Coits Christmas tree lot for extra Christmas cash. I would check people out when they had found the tree that they fell in love with. I would love to see the excitment on the kids and adults faces as they paid for the tree making the transaction official. Shortly after, their happiness would turn into frustration because I was horrible at counting money back….no working at Sonic for me! Working there you would assume I would understand the importance of finding THE ONE…THE TREE that is for Ben and I. Well it sort of went totally different….this is actually our first Christmas in the same house and so far it’s one that I will never forget.
We arrived at Horn Seed and told the nice lady behind the counter we wanted a Christmas tree. She put on her coat and grabbed a very long stick and led us through a giant room filled with Christmas trees that were getting painted white…it’s amazing how they do that. We arrived outside where she asked “How tall would you like your Christmas Tree?” As I said “6 foot” Ben said “7-8 foot”. WHAT? Our ceilings are like 9 feet I think. At this point the lady stepped away for us to discuss and I imagined that she probably deals with this sort of thing daily with couples discussing the height, width, etc. So we decided to compromise and look for a 7 foot tree. So off we went….first off I saw one I liked and Ben quickly nicked that. I found another and again Ben quickly said “ahhh…naw”….so we went even further down into what looked like the woods. As we were marching through the woods I could sense the seriousness coming from Ben and really didn’t know that this was such a big deal to him. “HE FOUND ONE! ” I screamed at the lady. She brought her big stick to make sure it was within our height requirement and it was! YAY! So she calls over the men to help prepare the tree for departure. As she is doing that Ben screams “WAIT…I really like this one. It has to feel right.” At this point I just smile and say “Man that is a pretty tree babe…what do you think?” We decided on this one instead of the initial tree and we were ready. This process took about 20 minutes. There were several trees that weren’t right for him and his Christmas cheer.
The tree departure men bring the tree out of the gate and then I saw the look on their faces. “‘What? We can get this to work….can’t we?” We (Ben) strongly tied the tree to the top of my sedan (see above)….a time when those oh shit bars really do come in handy. I got in the driver seat as cheerful as a kid and we slowly pull out of the tree lot…the men still staring at us like we have lost our minds. We pull down the access road, onto Classen, and we made the light…whew! We get on Classen and hit a bump I didn’t see because I was looking at the stump of the tree through my windsheild…yes that’s right I could see the stump through my windsheild…I was imagining this stump flying through my windsheild and into my head and then bam…no Christmas for me! As soon as I hit the bump the tree went flying forward and sideways. I started screaming….lauging….screaming….laughing….I told Ben I was pulling over and he said okay….so I pulled over…on Classen. He looked at me with utter dismay….what….I couldn’t have made the turn into a parking lot without dying…..so I just pulled over on the street and turned on my hazards. It was a hazard indeed. Ben huffs and puffs, gets out of the car, ties the strings better, and yells several times “Make sure no one hits me!” I did my best….I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if someone was coming for him….I guess yell…or I’m sure in that situation I would know, right? So off we went again….I decided leaving the hazards on was the best way to go…that way I could go slow and not worry about the other drivers.
People were staring at us the entire time…I wondered “are they staring at us because they are super jealous we are so happy with our tree and lauging our heads off….are they thinking what idiots” but then I realized they were staring at it because the tree was about to fall onto their car!!! We finally made it home without losing it again….I’m pretty sure I went about 5 MPH.
I should also mention we live about 3 miles away from Horn Seed. Next year we are borrowing a truck from someone!